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Monday, September 27, 2010

No steam for a battle

 Today Chance and I made what we thought would be just a couple of phone calls. Easy right? Just punch in the numbers,wait for someone to pick up and quickly get the business at hand done.But no that was not how the cards were stacked and laid out for us today.
  All we wanted was to find out the final sum owed on Issac's hospital bill,we have been waiting 6 months for this answer and to make a doctors appointment.Did we find the answer to our questions? Not really.
  The hospital and the insurance company are still arguing over minuet points concerning why did a 16 year old boy have his gallbladder removed.Geez mister insurance man, I don't know, maybe because the dang thing was impacted with stones and causing great pain.
   I think the insurance company is irked that they keep having to pay out for Issac.The staff knows him by name after all. We can't possibly be the only family with a sick kid on the face of this planet.I know we are not. The last time we were at the hospital right down the hall from Issac they held a Going Home Party for some child.Those parties are extra special,it means the kid going home has been there longer than 60 days.My kids longest stay of 2 weeks is a drop in the bucket compared to 60+ days so pay up mister insurance man!
 Then there's the doctor's office.I know my kid is not the only kid in the world and is just another patient.I know that his Gastro doctors office is one of two pediatric offices in the city.But really I call you telling you my kid is having some issues and not well at all and you tell me 3 weeks until he can be seen? Our regular Pediatrician will bump someone who is just coming in for a well child check if there is a child with a greater need.The last time we had to wait so long Issac ended up in the ER waiting to go to surgery at midnight.
  I have no steam for this battle today. Chance was home this morning helping with the calls so I was not totally alone, a fact I am truly grateful for but none the less I am at a stand still.
 In the past I have kept my chin up and my feet moving forward.This time I just want to sit in a dark corner and do nothing.In my last posting I wrote about Issac giving me so much courage and it is true he does but today there are things I don't want him to worry about or maybe not even notice.I don't want him to think about the money to pay the bills because I don't want him to feel the guilt I do over my own bills.I don't want him to worry about getting to the doctors in time.I want him to believe he can make it through the next three weeks.
  Today there is no way to kiss it and make things better . I just need to find my inner calm so I can build up my steam again,put my chin up and take a step forward.The meaning of Issac's name is laughter, today I will focus on that along with all of the other good things in our lives.



  1. Some days... when the regular challenges aren't enough, right? I am sorry. I hope that everyone figures out what they should be doing, so that you and yours can get a break, and enjoy the laughter.

  2. Natalie,you always sum things up in such nice little phrases "when the regular challenges aren't enough" is perfect.I was hoping our biggest challenge with Issac this school year would be getting his missing credits made up.

  3. Sorry to hear you're going through this.

    As a long time Kaiser member and shorter time employee, I'd suggest looking into switching. The care shown to our family has been world class, and other than the monthly premiums, the copays are very small.

  4. Oy, the phone calls, the waits, the condesending tones.

    It gets old doesn't it? "when the regular challenges aren't enough" - nice phrasing.

    Anytime you need company when you're making "the" calls you just come on over here. I'll make you tea and funny faces. I'll make snarky comments under my breath and curse the bureaucracy . And then I'll hold your hand and a just be your friend.

    love, love, love.

  5. Thanks CAS! It was a bad day I just did not need.So what did I do? I made these yummy brownies from Joy of Cooking.I did not eat half the pan or even the whole pan but it did help me find my calm spot.Was it the doing of it? Or was it the chocolate? Who knows.
    Issac fell asleep with his head on my lap while I rubbed his head like when he was a baby.Sigh.
    Love back at you!

  6. Portland- I am sorry to say I have zero faith in Kaiser.As a teen I was very ill with my Crohns which at that point was not diagnosed and Kaiser would do nothing.I ended up at another hospital where I spent 2 months of my life recovering from surgery.I weighed 95 pounds,when you are 5'8" and have a Native American build that's a bit too small.I named myself Auschwitz Annie.But thanks for the suggestion,I know it was meant to be kind.

  7. sorry to hear about your past experience.. but this isn't the "old" Kaiser. In the 4 years I've been working there, our quality scores have gone from the bottom 10% in the nation, to the top 25%.

    Everything has changed, and this is the future of health care. I've trusted my family to them for over 6 years now and we've never been let down.

    Give them a try... with the health care reform act going live last week there are now no pre-existing condition clauses.

    I've heard many stories about the "old" kaiser.. but I wouldn't steer you wrong. I've been treated horribly by BCBS when I first moved here and for the past 6 years, healthcare has been world class, even with the extensive issues my own daughter had.

    Either way, good luck, and keep blogging.. it helps to take your mind off the BS.

  8. Oh, sister, I have been there, and I feel your pain. Actually, we have Kaiser so we don't have quite the same phone call/dickering you around issues. But we have so many doctors and appointments and worries and things you wish your kid didn't know about. And some time you just have to grieve over it. Go ahead and grieve. That's all you can do.