This weekend I have found myself reflecting back on a hard time in my life that became such a huge part of who I am as a person.It was the spring I turned 20,I spent 2 months in the hospital very sick with my Crohn's disease.I was so sick I nearly died and gave my self the nickname " Auschwitz Annie" because that was how thin I had become.
But that's not what has been on my mind.I've been thinking about a woman who used to come and sit on the couch in the hallway outside my room.This lady came every day and sat there quietly.It seemed odd at first.I always thought she was looking at me in all of my misery.I knew I looked like death,was she staring at me? You see, I always liked to leave my door and curtain open so I could hear that the world was still going on out side of my room.It made feel like I was still part of the world.If I closed the curtain and door she wouldn't be looking at me but I would lose my link to world as it were.
After weeks of laying in bed I was finally able to get up and prepare to try to take a walk in the hallway.Outside my door sat the woman,she greeted me with a smile."I am so glad to see you up.You are so young and I wanted you to be ok again.I have been praying for you with my Dad who is down the hall." A total stranger praying for me,that was awesome.It was then I set the goal to walk to her Dad's room.I was at the farthest end of the hall and he was at the half way point but I wanted to say hello to him and say thank you for the prayers.
It took me a few days to make it there but I did it! I got to thank both the woman and her Father.But this weekend as I think back about what a motivation they were to me,it gave me a big goal to inch my way down that long hall.That walk changed my outlook so much.
Once I had reached the man's room I learned that the maternity unit was at the end of the hall and out a door.There were little new babies down there,life at its start and lots of joy.That was my next goal to reach the window of the nursery to see if there were any babies there to see.I made it several times and only saw babies twice but they sure made it worth the walk.
Finally one day I went out into the hall to sit on the couch out my door.There was a big picture window there with a view of a school yard across the way.There was a huge Willow tree starting to leaf out,green grass and children playing in the school yard.
By this time the man had gone home so I longer walked to his room to say or wave hello but I had a new motivation to get up,the kids playing,running,swinging,just being kids full of LIFE were outside that window.Play time on the playground became a huge deal to me.I watched them every day.It gave me hope of returning to my life and that things were still out there.
So it all started with this woman making me squirm and wanting to roll over the other way so I could avoid her looking at me.But there she was greeting me with a smile and deep wishes for me.She started a chain reaction that was more important than she could have known.Maybe her prayers were answered but in a way no one knew.I did get better so yes prayers were answered but did anyone know that she would start this chain reaction that is still with me today? Still to this day I can set goals that seem rough,make me want to squirm and roll away but need to be done.I can do it,in my own way,in my own time and with my own rewards. I can do it,whatever it may be.
It would be great to tell the woman thank you again.Thank you lady sitting on the couch for making me squirm,for motivating me to get up and get going.
P.S I would also like to thank my every present companion during this hospital stay "Walter" the I.V pole.Thanks for all of the waltzing we did,the walks and no tears when I left you all alone.